Monday, 11 February 2013

Sharing at the expense of privacy...

Wow what an amazing response to my first blog, thank you everyone for reading it and supporting my decision to share my story!

One of my facebook friends asked a couple of pointed and may I say valid questions, one of which I would like to address...

The questions:
What about privacy and the constant eroding of it everywhere?
What will your child say when (s)he finds out about having none even before birth?

While I can't possibly address the erosion of privacy in our current society, I can address the second question.  To do that I need to share the main reason I have decided to share my story... as I said I am a Single Mom By Choice (SMBC) and very proud of it!  Being a SMBC is not entirely the same as being a single mom or single parent.  The difference is intent... traditional parents embark on the journey of parenthood with the intention of parenting with their partner and when that ends for whatever reason they become single parents.  SMBCs approach it with the intention of embarking on the journey on their own...  In speaking for myself, my biggest obstacle in this journey was to let go of the 'traditional' family and embrace my new definition of family, that being Single Mom By Choice.  Once I was able to let go of the idea of waiting for Mr. Right with which to build the perfect 'traditional' family... what I felt was empowered, courageous, and brave, I embraced my new reality and now I'm very proud of myself and loving my life!!!  
I have been very open with everyone around me with respect to being a SMBC and I find myself being approached by women who are basically asking themselves... what would it take for them to pursue their dream?  They see that I am pursuing my dream and ask themselves how could they do that?  They saw the bravery and courage that I felt and would tell me that I am an inspiration... someone to aspire to be (their words not mine...).  So, if by sharing my story I'm able to empower even one woman to pursue her dream whether that be to have or adopt a child on her own or pursue some other dream... then giving up the privacy of myself and my child is worth it! 
Now back to my child and what (s)he will say when (s)he finds out that (s)he didn't have any privacy even before birth... My child is being born in an age of social media... (s)he isn't ever going to know privacy the way we knew it in years gone by, it will be a foreign concept.  The children of today are all growing up with their picture posted all over the internet where they are connected to their friends by text, facebook etc. it is their reality, the only one they know.  It is my hope that when my child reads my story (s)he will be proud of me not only for conquering my own obstacles to be able to get to the place where I could become a SMBC and give him/her life, but also for being forthcoming with my story to help other women follow their dreams!!!

One of my friends requested as part of this blog I would post pregnancy photos of myself so here it is... 32 weeks and feeling great!!!

Thanks again for tuning in... until next time!
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  1. Replies
    1. Thank you DivaRachel... I am and it's quite the ride!

  2. Hi, Congratulations on your pregnancy and your decision to become a single Mom. I made that decision about 4 years ago, and now I have a beautiful little girl, 20 months old!

    I saw the piece on CBC regarding Single Moms by Choice, and am interested in finding out more about the support group here in Ottawa. I was wondering if you could share the information about how to join the group. You can send me the info offline if you prefer,

    Thanks, and once again, congratulations!!

  3. Hi Danielle,

    Sorry for the delay in responding. Thank you for your comment and congratulations and same to you, congratulations on your baby girl! I hope you are enjoying being a mom as much as I am! I will email you the information on joining the group, thanks for getting in touch.

  4. Actually it is not an elite group so I can share it here... there is an email online component where topics are discussed and that can be found on yahoo by searching SMC-Ottawa. (if that doesn't work let me know) There are 94 members currently and once you are a member you will see notifications of events that take place on weekends every other month or so and monthly meetings that take place in the evenings. Women who attend include thinkers, tryers, pregnant women and mothers with their children. It's a wonderful group to connect with and I feel that it will be very valuable for my daughter as she grows up to have a relationship with other kids who were born with only one parent. Hope to see you at one of the meetings and thanks for your interest.