Tuesday, 10 December 2013

The Decision...

So I’ve decided to go back to the beginning and document how I ended up where I am today... an incredibly proud 45 year old mother of a wonderful baby girl!  

It all started when I was assessing the last relationship I was in and determining that it was highly unlikely that the relationship was going anywhere.  I was 42 years old and did the math... it would take me some time to over the relationship, then some time to meet someone, a year or so to get to a place where the relationship was ready to consider starting a family and then it was up to God and my body to decide when the baby would actually come!  The catch was by the time all that happened I would be 44 and my fear was that by then it might be too late.  (The irony was that I didn’t get pregnant until I was 44 so I am abundantly glad I wasn’t just starting at that age!)

When I was a teenager I fantasized about being a mom and having a large family.  I couldn’t wait to get started. Being a mom was the only thing I knew I wanted to do in my life.  I figured the career and everything else would get sorted out as I went along.  From then on I thought starting a family was just around the corner... or the next... or the next. And around corner after corner were different careers, different degrees, different cities, lots of wonderful things, but no babies!

At 42 I knew it was time to get the ball rolling and I was going it alone!  It was both scary and exciting at the same time.  Either way, there wasn’t any time to waste... so where to begin?  I didn’t know it yet, but I was about to embark on a journey that embodied every aspect of my being... the psychological, emotional, physical, and spiritual aspects of my self.  

And so the journey began... it was an exciting time and I couldn’t get started soon enough!  It was September and I figured I might be pregnant by Christmas and what a Christmas present that would be!  As Christmas is approaching and I have the best Christmas present in the world, my first Christmas with my daughter, I am looking back on our story with great fondness and look forward to sharing more of it with you.